How To Find the Right Partner for Marriage
It is very easy to find a man or a woman to hang around and play around with. But if you are looking for a suitable man or woman to spend the rest of your life with in marriage, it’s not going to be easy. For Adam, it wasn’t easy! However, there are four strategies that God used to give Adam the suitable life partner that he needed( Gen 2:20-22). I will discuss them in details in this article.
1. DEEP SLEEP STRATEGY- The deep sleep strategy is a state of spiritual and mental calmness and quietness. It is a state of absolute rest of mind and confidence. This is where our problem has been. Many people are always in a hurry to get married. Because of this anxiety and rushing, we end up making mistakes and getting hooked up with the wrong partner. A child of God should never be in a hurry to jump into marriage decisions. Take your rest and go to sleep. Find out all the necessary facts and figures about that man or woman you want to marry and consider them critically. Sometimes, even when all the warning signs are there, we keep pushing up like a stubborn goat and end up regretting at last. Love is never blind. It is lust that is blind! When you are not over excited or in a hurry, you are likely to make the right judgment and choice in marriage. Your time is never past. If other people have found their right partners, you too will find your own. Just cool down and watch very well.
2. OPEN AND CLOSE STRATEGY- Open and close strategy was the second strategy that God used to give Adam a suitable partner. What is this open and close strategy all about? It is simply working on yourself. Opening your hideouts and dealing with your personal weaknesses. It is dealing with your flesh and removing the skeleton in your cupboard. Why is this so important in finding a right partner? The truth is that you will always attract who you are. Deep calleth unto deep, the scripture says. You need to get yourself right first before you can get the right partner for marriage. Stop hiding your bad habits and weaknesses. Open up and confront them for a change. You may never know the pleasure of finding the right partner until you have known the pains of brokenness of the flesh and the soul for a change. Surrender your rib (I mean your rights) and let God give you the desires of your heart.
3. GOD MAKING STRATEGY- There are four kinds of marriages and partners on the earth. They are, God-made marriage or partner, Satan-made marriage or partner, People’s made marriage or partner and Self-made marriage or partner. The God-made marriage or partner is the man or woman that God chooses for you. It is called the perfect will of God. The Satan- made marriage or partner is the one that Satan gives you. People-made marriage is the one that people- your parents or friends choose for you. The self-made marriage or partner is the one that you choose by yourself. God told you, “This one is not good for you”. But you said, “no way, I must marry him or her”. Allowing God to show you the person to marry is the best choice to make in finding a right partner. This is because only God knows the heart and the future of every man and woman. And to do this you have to pray like Abraham’s servant did when he set out to find a wife for Isaac. Don’t make your marriage decisions based on assumptions. Your assumptions may end you up in frustration. Find out what God is saying concerning the man or woman you want to marry.
4. RELATIONSHIP STRATEGY- God brought the woman to Adam. That talks about relationship. Relationship must come first before marriage if you are going to make the right choice in marriage. 85% of divorce and separations around the world are people who missed good relationship before they jumped into marriage. Mind you, you could be dating a man or woman for ten years and still not have any reasonable relationship with that person. When all you do in your relationship is sex and foolish jokes, you are likely to discover that both of you are just close strangers after the marriage. Take time to know the person you want to marry. Study his or her background, temperament, beliefs, character and capacities. Both of you must first be friends, then marriage can follow. Never marry a stranger, else you may meet hatred, frustration, separation or divorce in future.
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