They are No More Two But ONE

How to make your marriage work


"For this cause shall a man leave father and mother, and shall cleave to his wife: and they twain shall be one flesh? Wherefore they are no more twain, but one flesh. What therefore God hath joined together, let not man put asunder." Matt 19:5-6

Marriage is not a child's play. It is not a wedding gift. Marriage is a lifetime covenant. It is sacred and binding. One of the mysteries of Marriage is oneness. Until you have understood the oneness of Marriage you are not yet set to enjoy bliss in marriage. The moment you are married, you and your spouse are no more two people but one person. You are no more plural but singular. You are no more two different entities but one body.
What is the Sigificance of the Oneness in Marriage?
1. Leave All. If you are not ready to leave all and focus on your marriage and spouse, you are not ready to enjoy a happy marriage. Even if sleeping with multiple women or men runs in your blood, the day you get married you must make a decision to leave all and stay faithful to your spouse. That's the only way to succeed in your marriage. There are many married people who want to experience a happy and successful marriage but they have not left all. Any other romantic relationship with the opposite sex outside your marriage you refuse to leave will break your marriage. It will be a torn in your flesh. When God says you should leave your father and mother and cleave to your spouse, He wanted to let you know that your marriage is more important than any other relationship or tie you may have. Your father and mother are your biological parents who brought you into this world and thereby hold the strongest bond or tie with you, yet God says for your marriage to succeed, you must leave them and cleave only to your spouse. Remember, God didn't ask you to ignore, abandon, disown or dishonor your parents. That's not what that scripture means. To leave your parents means to be independent of their decisions, choices, control, influence and support. It is also important to leave your parents house physically and live in your own house with your spouse, no matter how small the apartment may be. It may be rented or built by you. When you leave all to cleave to your spouse , the needs and pressure in your father's house cannot be more important to you than the needs and pressure in your own home. Before you buy anything for your father, mother, brother, sister, uncle etc you must first buy what your wife or husband needs. You don't send money to your village when your spouse and children have not eaten. Your own immediate family comes first after God. Don't forget that. That's why you must try your best to help your parents and siblings when you are not yet married. Because once you are married, if you are not financially buoyant, it may not be too easy for you to shoulder the responsibilities of your own family and as well meet every need in your parents' house as you should do. If you leave all and cleave to your spouse, your colleague in the office cannot be given more attention than your spouse. When you leave all, you cannot still keep the phone number and pictures of your former boyfriend or girlfriend in your phone as souvenir. As a married or engaged person, If you are still keeping the phone number and pictures of your former boyfriend or girlfriend, you have not left all,  let alone cleaving to your spouse. Leaving all is a must for everyone who wants to enjoy a happy and successful marriage. Don't keep any alternative. Don't keep another romantic relationship by the corner when you are already in a relationship. No one can serve two masters at a time. You cannot marry two husbands or two wives at a time, unless you want to be a Polygamist.
2.  Cleave to your spouse - Cleaving is to become bonded with your spouse. Many married people are just living together but not cleaved to each other. That's why they still see faults in their partner. Hear this, cleaving to your partner is not an accident, it is a deliberate and conscious step. It doesn't happen. You make it happen because you want it to happen. Cleaving to your spouse is not the work of the Holy Spirit. It is the duty of the man and the woman in a marriage relationship. Your pastor can't pray you into it. It is your responsibility. When you cleave to your spouse , it shows everywhere you go.
3. You are No More Two But ONE.  When you have left all and have cleft with your spouse,  you are no more two different people but one flesh. When you are one flesh, you don't have two different beds. Because one flesh cannot sleep on two beds. You don't have two different rooms. You are one flesh, one body and one person. You don't make different plans. All your plans and decisions are made together as one. When you are one flesh, your spouse can comfortably pick and answer all your calls when you are not around when your phone rings. When you are one flesh, you cannot insult or abuse your spouse because that will be tantamount to abusing yourself. When you are one flesh, as a man you cannot beat your wife because that will be tantamount to beating your own body. And no sensible man does that, except a mad man. When you are one, it means that the body of the wife belongs to her husband and vice versa. You can't use sex as a weapon against your spouse when you are no more two but one. You can't separate what God has joined together with pillow, room, bed, etc.
Marriage is sweet, marriage without tears is a reality but your decision and commitment to work it out is the key to enjoying it. Remain blessed.

© Damian Alamba

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